The Beast

Well, the pond hasn’t changed much while I was away for a few days. We were met by a young spike buck immediately upon our arrival. It’s well into rutting season, so he still had a smile on his face. Shows you what goes on while your back is turned. Down right shameful, if you ask me. Recent low temps have left a nightly skim of ice on the pond. It reflects the sky and pond edge trees before the sun rises and melts its colors.

The beast of Hideaway Pond we found frozen firmly to the upper branch of a nearby tree. Now, some of you who have not closely followed this blog may not even know that there exists a beast of Hideaway Pond. But there does. Every early spring, it thaws and begins its annual assault on the local Hideaway critter population. This lasts until late autumn when it freezes again. Much to critter joy and celebration. It has no nose, no legs, no mouth and no–um, well, you know. So one might be curious as to how it handles normal biological processes. Well, it’s all based on osmosis. Osmoses in, osmoses out. OIOO. Much like the GIGO of the human critter species. And thus it bays to the moon, as well. Oiooo. Oiooo. It’s omnivorous and asexual. No problem there. No fun, either. Unfortunately, if it has recently eaten a gaseous food–or a critter who has recently done so–it will emanate a deadly aura. A warning to other critters in the neighborhood to scram. It has the pursuit options of levitation and running on its hands, so listen up. Or odor up, as it were.

OK, just kidding. Or maybe not. Or, as my lovely bride says, “You crazy, man!”